Losing steam...

I'm truly ashamed of myself.

I have spent so much money on a "college education" and for what? It's all a joke. It's not like a degree from my school means anything.. but the worst part is that I just really don't care. I'm like the dumbass burnout in the school sitting at the back of the class, talking to no one, sleeping through most of the class, and paying some nerdy sophomore to do my project for me so I can skate by with a D. I never used to be this way. What happened?

Did I make a horrible mistake?
It's embarrassing.

I need motivation, or inspiration, or something... I have just lost so much of myself over the past couple of years and I don't know why. I did what I was supposed to do.. I graduated High School, I went to college, I got married... what do I have to look forward to? Five screaming kids, a crappy job, and eventual death.

But why can't I have something I am proud of in the process?
I don't want to just go through the motions of life without actually living it.

I need a challenge or something. But then again, everything I say I'm gonna do, everything I start, I give up on it. I was going to do a 30-day: 30-drawing challenge. I gave up after less than a week. The whole comic idea I was supposed to do with my friend Stephen... I have no idea where that ended up.

I am truly ashamed of myself.

A great loss.

As some of you know, if you are my friend on Facebook, yesterday I lost a great man and a great influence in my life. My mom's older brother, my favorite uncle Kim, lost his battle with Multiple Myloma. A cancer that affected his bone marrow and blood. It attacks the centers in the bone marrow that produce the white blood cells that make antibodies. Much like AIDS, it is treatable, but not curable, and the disease itself isn't what actually kills you. It's the illnesses and infections that your body can't fight off because of its lack of antibodies. People die from the common cold. He had had this cancer for 3 years, and fought it enough that he was pretty much back to his normal, fun-loving, happy-go-lucky self. But when it came back the second time, it came back with a much greater force. He was very sick and his body was essentially attacking itself. He was always in pain, bruises here, swelling there, and the quality of life was very low for him. The doctors decided to put him on dialysis to try to clean out his bad blood because his kidneys and his liver were shutting down. The chemotherapy only did so much. Finally he went in for a dialysis appointment where his blood pressure plummeted. He was delusional and couldn't breathe. He was able to call my mother to be with him and within the day, he had fallen into such a deep sleep, he was essentially comatose. The next day, his lungs failed. His heart was still beating, but he could not breathe on his own. They attached him to a life support respirator to help him breathe until he was able to do so. Yesterday morning at about 5:00 a.m. the doctors called my mother to let her know that they had found massive bleeding in his brain and it was very doubtful he would make it through the day. I got the call at about 6 a.m. to inform me of the situation. At 10:30, my mom called me again to tell me that I needed to come to the hospital and that all of the family was coming. Something inside us all told us it was time. We were all gathered in his room in the ICU. My mom, my Aunt Suanne, her husband, my dad, my grandma, my sister, my cousin, Pete, and finally my cousin Emalie (Kim's daughter) and her boyfriend showed up. We sat in the room together for several hours, hugging, crying, holding, and comforting each other. At around 3:30 we decided it was time for him to go home. We weren't doing him any good keeping him here when his father, family, and Heavenly Father were all waiting for him on the other side of the veil. We pulled out his respirator and let him go peacefully.
At 4:09 p.m. in the Howard Community Hospital, Intensive Care Unit, in Kokomo, Indiana, Kim August Schmidt, the man I admired and looked up to, the man that kept a weak family held together strong, the man that was the cause of so much laughter and happiness, passed to his family and friends in the Kingdom of Heaven. He will be very much missed, but far from forgotten. He will always be there with a can of Mountain Dew and a smile at every moment we think of him. He will always be in our hearts, our minds, and our memory, and I can't wait to see what he's done when I go home as well.

Yay smart phones!

I can now blog while on my phone. Hooray. So now there's no stopping the thoughts that pour out of my mind even though they have a ruthless tirade on facebook and twitter... yay networking

final painted versions!

There they are.. took me 6 hours to paint them all, but they're done!

And here they are, folks!

 Here they are!!!

Tess McCormick- a smart-mouthed sci-fi/gamer/internet geek with a love for food, sex, and Star Wars. She is a conspiracy nut who always thinks the government is out to get her and she is prepping for the zombies while she holds down an under-the-table job at a music store.

 The lanky, comic book nerd you see here is Carter Owens. A 25-year-old grad student that owns a comic book/RPG store. He is more sensitive, yet funny as he tries to avoid the sexual tension with his best friend, Tess. He has an air-headed, hello-kitty-and-my-little-pony-loving weeboo girlfriend who Tess loathes. He is Harold's roommate.

Harold Greenberg. This uber-nerd is the epitome of the online-gamer stereotype. Greasy-haired, acne-ridden, sweatpants-donning, Harold doesn't like people, parties, or anything social. He prefers to stay cooped up in his nerd cave all day and night with a leaning tower of pizza boxes and a 24 pack of Mountain Dew. 













I am so excited to share these characters with everyone. I can't wait to get this thing up and running. Stephen? What do you think?

Theeeeeeey're Heeeeeeere!

The new characters are done! I have the three main people; Tess, Carter (yes, I changed his name), and Harold. They look awesome but are still only in the second draft phase, I still might tweak them a little bit... I have to collab with Stephen. But I'm so excited!!! I can't wait for this to go up- Hopefully it'll be up by the first week of June :D happy happy happy happy happy

New Projects!

Ok, so I'm doing some more stuff with school this quarter- like making a video logo bumper for my motion graphics class as well as a full short cartoon in my special topics class, so updates on those will happen periodically... As far as my other projects go, I'm trying to get a small web-based comic started. I have a base story put together, character bios, basic model sheets, but I have to realize that I'm not really as funny as I think I am, so I need someone to help me write the jokes and subplot.
The idea is about 3 people- two guys and a girl. Tess, Crosby, and Harold. Tess McCormick, 23 is a shorter, curvy, geek girl who works at a music shop. She's a sarcastic, paranoid, cynical conspiracy nut who constantly thinks the government is out to get her, while she prepares for the zombiepocalypse. Her tirade of geek-dom is a lot from the internet: YouTube, webcomics, LOLcats, etc. She's a lot like me.
My second character, Crosby Owens, 25, is a tall, brunette, lanky grad-student who owns a comic book store and has a love for comic books and all things Super-hero. He is that nerdy guy who is goofy and childish, but still has social prowess. He has lots of friends, and a ditzy girlfriend who is a shame to all true-anime fans out there. He's based on a lot of my guy friends
The third main character is Harold Greenberg, 23 is a short, chubby, greasy-haired, acne-ridden uber-nerd with Titanic-sized glasses, who spends every waking minute playing video games, dungeons & dragons, and World of Warcraft. He is pretty much the epitome of the word geek. Extremely socially awkward, he hyperventilates at the sight of a woman, but can almost always get caught watching some kind of very strange porno.
I want the comic to have the air of a kind of big-bang-theory meets Questionable Content. With the witty dialogue, sexual tension, and the youthful spirit of us recent-college-grad-20-somethings. I think it has the potential to be a really great thing, but that may not be for years. I hope it turns into something awesome, but if not, it'll at least be a fun project for me and anyone else who wants to help me out. I'm excited!

Ideas anyone?

Alright, peoples. I need a challenge. I have been really busy with planning my wedding, focusing on school, work, and preparing to adopt a dog, to draw. And it's taken an effect on me. I haven't drawn for fun in a while and thus my blog has suffered, my portfolio is getting to be seen-it-already-where's-the-new-stuff, and I have gotten really bored. So I need an idea for a cartoon, or a series of digital paintings, or a character or ... something. Help me out here. Send me reference photos, send me paintings, anything. I'm interested in seeing what y'all can come up with.

New video!

Ok, so this month has been CRAZY that's why I haven't posted anything lately.
It's the final 3 weeks of the quarter so that means work work work work work. I have two animated shorts to do- one 2D, one 3D. A storyboard animatic to render in After Effects, and an advanced life drawing sketch to ink, shade, and mount. Ugh... not to mention working a 35 hour work week, taking classes to become a trainer, AND I'm planning a wedding. I know the whole world is busy, but damn! I'm wore out... so sorry to say to my followers (assuming there are any) that I haven't had much time to update the blog.

But good news, I have. I did finish my 2D short... it's simple animation, but it's done and ready to view :D I'm gonna try to post the video here, but if not, it'll go to my YouTube channel. Happy viewing!

Shading is improving! YAY!

I'm excited to start this project. This will be part 1 of my 9 part project. This picture is my fiancé, Tony and I as super awesome spies haha. The next ones I will post will contain my bridesmaids and the groomsmen. I've been doing a lot of research and referencing photos from comic books and more realistic cartoons, because I'm really not good at them. My usual drawings come out looking like something from Nickelodeon or Family Guy. Not that there's anything really wrong with that, but I don't want to end up being Seth McFarlane- only being able to do one style and therefore never branching out. I want to be able to provide potential clients and/or employers with a veritable smorgasbord of different styles to pick from that I am able to repeat over and over again. Therefore, I will be more sought after and more likely to be hired. Boom.

But for now, practice is the name of the game. I was very happy the other day to run into a woman that my mother introduced me to. She was a municipal judge for a while, and talked to me for a bit about the legal side of the art world. Which is good, because I didn't know much. She ended up talking to me for the better part of an hour and said that she was very impressed with my portfolio. So that's happy. I felt very excited and VERY flattered that someone of her esteem would think that my cartoons are worth her time. YAY! Happy happy.

So anyway, I hope you like part one- many more to come!

Happy Valentine's Day!

My Tonycakes :)
I did this picture of my wonderful fiancé for Valentine's Day. He's Italian, so I couldn't give him big bug-eyes like I love giving to everyone else I draw.. I don't really like the symbol-ish way they turned out, though. I need to differentiate between chinese-looking eyeballs and something a sixth-grader draws.. those almond-shaped things on the top of the head.. but I digress

I want to do more than just cartoons- yes, they're cute, and fun to do... but I need a new challenge. I wish I knew if I had anyone reading my blog.. I would love some feedback. I need some feedback- if anyone is reading this, please comment or something to give me some new ideas. Please please :)

My first 3D animation

This is my very first animation in 3D. Nothing special or fancy, but I want to be able to look back in 10 years and be able to laugh at how much I suck now :)

My friend, Brooke

So, I know I haven't posted in a while- I've been busy. Breaking my foot, re-arranging my house, and planning my wedding (not necessarily in that order). But, today as I was taking a break from my latest animation project, my friend Brooke told me to draw her in cartoon form. So, I did. Here it is. More stuff to come later when I get my head out of my butt.

I'm a liar...

Ok, so I lied, sorry. I don't have the pencil sketches for the 10-second short, but in all honestly, it was gonna suck anyway. Instead I have 5 skulls that I did for my life drawing homework. No, they're not cartoons, but at least I drew something today.

so yeah, I know they're not the greatest, but give me a little credit here. I had a HORRIBLE day, it's after midnight, I've been up for 20 hours, I'm tired. I'm going to finish the last 5 tomorrow after I get home, hopefully by then I won't be so tired and they won't look like crap. I wish I could scan in an 18x24 size photo- I have a life drawing of a model that is awesome. I'll figure out how to get it on here. Thanks for listening :)

coming soon..

New animation on its way... working on a pencil test for the 10-second clip- sketches to upload in a little bit- finished product to be uploaded to the YouTubes (hopefully) by tonight.

Challenge accepted

Hello, internets. Sadly I have no picture for the day- I've been busy for a while. Work has had me in its clenches with no chance for air, and the weather almost killed me several times. So it's been sleeping (sorta) and working for the last few days for me. I have some observational stuff that I did while I was on break at work- a sketch of my foot, my hand, and a girl that I work with. I need something more though than just sketches and cartoons... I want to find a new challenge. Maybe this blog will end up being so. If I can write something every day or at least every other day, that will show me some kind of continuity in my life.... maybe.

Gargoyle sketch

So today is a bit of a crapply day. I have been doing some reading and whatnot on the SOPA and PIPA acts and they really upset me. I hope to be an awesome animator one day and get a bunch of my stuff out there for the world to see, but if these things pass, I'm screwed. Most of the best (and most real) work by inspiring and professional cartoonists and animators, comic artists, and graphic designers, is on the internet. The internet is where we have pretty much free reign as artists to do whatever the hell we want. That's the beauty of the web. The government has already censored the hell out of television, radio, and film, the internet is the last place we have to go to get our truest thoughts out there, professional or not. They've even got a snag on YouTube now, you get flagged for making a celebrity look bad, saying the F word, and forGET about using anything anyone anywhere else did in whatever it is you do. They'll get on you faster than flies on shit pudding. But we can't let that continue. You can go on and on about free speech and blah blah blah, but honestly we are just allowing our minds to continue getting raped in the ass by the people who think it's their duty to teach us "right" from "wrong". I'm sorry... wasn't that our parents' jobs?


Anyway.. now that I've taken a foot off my soap box (I'm never fully off of it), I'll upload my picture for the day.

it's a gargoyle I drew while I was bored in class. I want to try to draw something new every day to upload. 1 to get me drawing just to draw again, and 2 to get some practice at drawing something that's not a face. I do a lot of cartoon people, I kinda need to get away from it... Dinner needs to get made, colored version to come soon!

Piggy!

Hahaah I like my piggy. This is the little pig from before, in full color. He will be the supporting character in the short.

Penguin!

This be my penguin fully colored. Isn't he just the cutest thing ever? Piggy full color page to come, then a facial expression sheet. :) Coming along!

Sketches for the short

These are my most recent sketches for a short animation I'm doing. It's about a penguin who can't fly, tries to fly, finds a way to fly, and then when he gets in the air, he finds a flying pig who laughs at the ridiculous premise of a plying penguin. Hilarious, right? Yeah, I know- but it'll hopefully be very cute for children, anyway. Hey, I have a 5-year-old.. she has to be able to see my stuff somehow.

Some of my goodies

Some previous stuff I've done, mostly character designs and layouts, which is what I enjoy most. The first two characters are just a simple boy and girl that I did one day when I got bored. The next two, Kesi and Tony are two characters that I hope to one day put into a web comic or something. I have done many revisions and re-do's of the two of them, but they are still far from finished, they're just paused for now. I have quite an attachment to these two, especially the Tony character. Maybe one of these days I'll get around to it :)

First Post!!

FIRST POST! WOOT!

Alright, now that I'm done with that, I can explain why I'm here. I had a website that was dedicated to my blog, pictures, artwork, but then I started getting members, and I had to deal with e-mails, and it was just much easier if I just kept a blog to do all my art and concept drawing in one easier-to-use locale. So here goes, this is what I do. This is what I enjoy and I hope people enjoy it, too.